June 1, 1999
Well, my truck is finally working. The last problem couldn't be placed as part of the damage from the accident and I had to pay over $250 for repairs. That, along with my trips back to the town I use to live in for the custody hearing and such, has depleted my finances completely. My credit rating is about to take a beating and my nerves are shot.

On the bright side, I've done another exercise in The Mythic Path. It's purpose is to give my myths human form and engage them into discussion.

Old Myth: Agnus - bitter, withdrawn, stooped and haggard. She's a widow who spend all her time taking care of others.
 Counter-myth: Sylvia - cynical, proud, erect and powerful. She's a queen who spends her time ruling her kingdom.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I'm tired.
It's no wonder considering the way you take care of yourself.
I'll survive. I always have.
That doesn't mean you always will. You need to take care of yourself - no one else is going to.
I don't have time. Other people need help more than I do.
Like hell they do. Some of these people are just cowardly moochers. You should take care of yourself and help those who really need your help.
Who am I to judge? I cannot know everything that is going on in someone's life.
That doesn't mean it's your duty to carry them. You have good judgement - ask some questions and make some decisions. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for someone is let them fend for themselves.
But what if I need help?
WAKE UP, WILL YOU!!! You do need help right now - lots of it! Now is not the time to make life easier for everybody else.
But that's so selfish.
Selfish - smelfish. It's only temporary and right now it's the right thing to do.
No. I cannot be selfish.
And how do you plan to help people if you're crippled or dead?
God will bless me.
God will be a lot happier it you took care of yourself. You will live longer and do more then.
I don't know about this.
Then think about it. God gave you a brain - use it.

June 2, 1999
Symbolism, being the strong force that it is, features prominately in the following exercise, where I try to transform one of my traits which stand as a major stumbling block in my path. Interestingly enough, this did seem to have a positive effect on me.

Transforming Obstacles into Opportunities
The obstacle I've decided to work on first was my need to cling. I try to keep it hidden most of the time, but every so often I will cling to certain people. The weird part is that I will usually only do this in a harmful relationship. In a healthy relationship, I am just loyal. I feel this quality feeds my old myth, which seeks attention through service.

I stand on a green rug and imagine my inner wise person before me. I call her by name, but it is a name known only to God and I, for it is sacred to me. I imagine my clinginess in a bundle before me. It is lumpy and wrapped in strips of cotton.

I tell my wise person that I wish to transform my clinginess into loyality without fear. She adds loyality without fear of abandonment. I tell her that I want to be better able to discern when I am being clingy or just very loyal, because I know there has been times in my past when I thought I was being clingy, but my friend actually needed the extra attention from me at that time.

My inner wise person puts her hands on my bundle and we begin to bob it up and down between us, while chanting (mentally), "Let the change begin." We do not do any other steps because my foot still has not fully healed and my IWP refuses to let me do anything that may hurt it more.

She announces the change has been made and the bundle is now glowing. I shrink the bundle down and place it into a chick pea (or garbanzo bean). She tells me to slowly eat the pea and I do. I feel its energy filling me. When I finish, I thank her.

Then I ate more chick peas, because the ones I fixed tasted great.

June 3, 1999
Better grab a cup of cocoa and get comfortable--work was REALLY slow today.

The next three exercises deal with creating an unified myth between my old myth and my counter-myth. The book goes into a discussion on how people's perceptions and myths can cause great conflict and mismatch. They used an example of a man who married young and believed himself to be an irresistable Casanova. Though he was faithful to his wife, his resentfulness and inattentiveness finally drove her away. Free to "play the field", he couldn't understand why women kept rejecting him.

The authors go on to say that there are two ways to handle conflicts between experience and myth: one can alter their perception of the experience, or one can alter the myth. Their example first tried to convince himself that the women were merely overwhelmed by his magnatism. (I believe this is called "denial".) Later on, he was forced to face the fact that maybe he wasn't as irresistable as he thought.

I guess the point to all of this is that you have to being willing to change your perception of yourself, and at the same time, don't throw the baby out with the bath water.

Extending the Dialog Between My Two Myths
The exercise is to further the cooperation and understanding between the characters that personify my two myths.

I must admit that there is something to what you say. I could help people more if I was stronger.
Exactly. And it wouldn't hurt to accept someone else's help without feeling so guilty about it. You do some pretty weird things when you feel guilty.
(chuckling) I must agree with you there. But some of that is your fault, you know. You need to temper that passion of yours.
Then give me more opportunities to express it. Let me stick up for us more often. There's nothing wrong with offending someone every so often.
Still, we are clever enough to find a way not to be offensive.
Some people don't listen until they are offened. It's a lazy world we live in.
And we can't change it by ourselves.
But we can change ourselves and act like a seed of crystallization for others who wish to change.
And of course, they can alter our example to fit their own lives, so we won't be denying them of their individualism.
The variety will be inspiring!
We do agree on a lot, don't we?
Most definitely. We just need to take care of us better.


A Body Metaphor of Resolution
This exercise helps me to experience the symbolic resolution between my myth and counter-myth.

As I imagine the symbols of my old myth and counter-myth, the first thing I realize is that they have switched hands. The block of sandstone is now in my left hand and it doesn't feel as light now. The tar sponge still feels comfortable, but it no longer repels the sandstone. I feel their energies equally divided in my body by a straight line.

I inform the two myths that I am going to merge them together to create a better one. There is no resistance as I push them together. Instantly, they meld into one image - a lime green retangular cellulose sponge. Firm, yet flexible. Strong, yet soft. Orderly, yet with variations.

As I gaze at this new symbol, I am at a lost for a motto for it. I ask the combined myths to help me. They tell me, "Everything deserves respect!" I realize that "everything" includes me, too.

A Resolution Fantasy
The book says this is to "generate a reverie that pints the way toward further resolution of your mythic conflict".

My old myth appears in my right hand as a potted sunflower. She is root-bound and starving. My counter-myth appears in my left hand as a shiny sword. As my resolution play begins, the sunflower is swinging the sword around in an act of defense.

The sunflower looks down at the pot and with a mighty swing of the sword, shatters it. But now the roots are exposed and the sunflower is in great peril. The sword changes into a shovel, which the sunflower uses to dig a hole to plant herself into the fertile farmland around her. After the sunflower packs down the soil around her roots, the shovel turns back into a sword and the sunflower holds it - ready to defend herself from danger.

A raccoon lumbers towards the sunflower. The sunflower knows the ways of raccoons--he will destroy her and take all her seeds, if she lets him. So, she fights him and drives him away with the sword.

Next, two little rabbits hop up. They look up at her in hunger. The sunflower shakes her head and lets enough fall to feed them. With her roots now in fertile soil, she can now grow more seeds of a higher quality to feed others with.

Cute little story, isn't it?

The next three exercises are to help me examine my new myth and modify it into something beneficial to me.

The authors present the findings of Dan McAdams of the six standards that make a personal belief system effective:

  1. Coherence - is it logical and consistant with our experience?
  2. Openess - does it support the need for change, growth, and development?
  3. Credibility - does it take into account the person's abilities and circumstances?
  4. Increasing differentiation - as the person developes and gains more experience, does it become more richer and complex?
  5. Reconciliation - does it lead to a resolution between the internal conflicting forces in a person's life?
  6. Generative integration - does it lead towards "a creative involvement in a social world that is larger and more enduring than the self"?


Extending the Dialog Between My Opposing Myths with the Help of My Inner Wise Person
This brings my IWP in to help further the resolution between my two myths.

(IWP) I see we are beginning to form a partnership here. Do you agree?
Yes, I do. I like Agnus a lot. She's dependable and sweet. I want her to be happy.
And to be honest, I have a lot of admiration for Sylvia. She is so resourceful and competent. I just get scared that she'll make everyone go away.
I know your scared, Agnus, but I only want to get rid of those people who would hurt us. There are many people who won't leave because they love us.
But there have been other people who said they loved us, but they went away when we stood up for ourselves. Some of them came back when we were good again and some never did.
What they felt for us wasn't really love, but superiority - or a perceived sense of. And they didn't come back because we were "good". They came back because we were submissive. (turns to IWP) Can you explain this to her?
I can explain this to both of you. You are both right and you are both wrong. Sylvia, you are correct when you say that these people left because their sense of power felt threatened, but you are being too harsh when you imply that they had no love for you. Their love was a crippled thing, but it was still there. Agnus, you were right to believe in their love, but you are wrong to blame yourself for them leaving. It was their choice and many of them would had come back, even if you hadn't become submissive again. Submissiveness is not the same as being good-
(interrupting) My point exacty!
And love comes in many forms and degrees.
I've always though so.
Remember, the complete truth doesn't lie within either of you, but between you both.
Corrective Daydreaming
I am aware that this exercise requires me to revisit an event in my childhood that had a great impact on creating my old myth. I am also becoming aware that this myth has been driven by the fear of being abandoned. When I was in professional therapy, this fear was also quite apparent.

What is not apparent is a memory of when this abandonment occurred. My therapist did offer once to do a hypntism seesion to uncover this event, but he also said it might be better to let it come out on its own. That was over six years ago.

Now, either this event was so painful that my psyche has totally repressed it, or it happened at such a young age that I did not have the ability to record it completely in my memory. I have looked for external evidence of the first possibility for several years now without success. I think it may be the second possibility. The only clue I have to go on is a comment my greataunt made about how I would eat for everyone else as an infant, but I would scream whenever my own mother tried to feed me.

So, here goes...

I imagine a small child in a highchair, being fed by an inexperienced young mother. The child keeps spitting out her baby food. The young mother doesn't realize that this is normal and tries to force the food into the child. The spoon hurts the child and she chokes on the food. The child starts to scream.

The mother panics and hits the child to make her stop screaming. The child screams more. The young mother runs crying from the room and leaves the child in the highchair.

The child is scared and confused and probably still hungry. Her mouth hurts and so does her cheek. She screams for help, but none comes. She twists in the highchair and gets stuck in a very uncomfortable position. She screams and still no one comes. She becomes too tire to scream and just sobs and shudders. Finally, she is too exhausted to do even that and just lays there numb.

The mother comes in and to cover her own failings, firmly tells the child that she is now behaving correctly.

Now I bring my adult self into the picture at its start. I lay my hand on the young mother's arm.

"It is normal for babies to spit food out," I tell her. "This is new to her. She must experiment with her tongue and mouth to learn how to eat. The taste and texture of the food is also foreign to her. We must give her a chance to adjust."

"But the food-" she says.

"Can be gently scraped off her face with the spoon and fed back to her. Be patient. Learning should not be rushed."

I sit down next to the mother and offer encouragement to both mother and child. After the child has eaten a third of the babyfood, I tell the mother that the baby is too tired and should be given a bottle to finish filling her little stomach. With a little patience and time, her child will be able to eat "normally".

I squeeze the mother's shoulders and kiss the top of her head. Then I pick up the child and hold her close. I tell her how wonderful and beautiful she is. I pour love into her to give her strength to survive the trials ahead.

The mother takes the child back from me. SHe is gentle with her as she goes to the rocking chair and rocks the child to sleep. After she puts the baby to bed, I remind her to be patient and tell her goodbye.

I am now the baby. I feel surrounded by love. I breathe it in and it warms me. I gather my pain and blow it out. I breathe in more love. I do this several times until I am breathing only love.

Consulting My Object of Power
I was going to wait to do this, but as soon as I set my book down, my object of power exploded into view in my mind.

It is a very large rainstick I got several years back. I shouldn't be surprised - I had set it within easy reach last night when I prepared for the quality transforming ritual - just in case I needed it.

I am rather amazed on how fast I have been going through these exercises of late, though in a way, I have been working on this subconsciuosly for over three years if you count my practice novel. Perhaps I just needed the right outlet. I am still a little afraid of rushing things, yet I feel called to them and there is such a sense of power when I do these things - not to mention a lot of unexpected developments. I didn't expect Agnus and Sylvia to come to agreement so soon. I would never had guessed that my symbol unity between my myth and counter-myth would be a green kitchen sponge. And never in a million years would I consciously use a sunflower to represent myself. I was always scared of them as a child - kept imagining them eating me. Watched too many old horror movies with my dad, I guess.

I must also admit that I am fascinated by the images that are coming to me. Buttercup was right last year in that exercise I did in Bradshaw's stuff - my imagination would be my greatest tool in my healing.

I feel this hunger to continue - not so I can finish, but so I can explore more of this wide and beautiful world I stumbled into. I know that I am laying the foundation for the new life ahead of me and I want to live it eith as much gusto as I feel now. Even sorrow and pain, which I had tried so hard to avoid, feels invigorating now! I feel so alive. Tired, but alive.

As I said, I should wait until I am home to do this, work is so very slow today and I have handled my object of power often enough to imagine it before me.

The rainstick is lightly textured except for the back ends of the nails (thorns maybe?) that are pounded in to help to make the rain sound. There are several depressions on it. It is coated with some sort of resin. There are pebbles inside it that strike the nails, which are arranged in a helix of sorts. It is heavy and strong. I find touching it (between the nails) and listening to it very soothing.

Imagining it in my hands, I ask, "What can you tell me about myself?"

It says back, "You are beautiful even with your flaws and you comfort others."

"How can you help me combine my old myth and my counter-myth into a better way of living?"

"As the nails and pebbles work together to make the sound of rain inside me, so must your old myth and counter-myth work together in balance. Too many mails and the pebbles cannot move. Too few nails and the sound isn't as rich. Too many pebbles and nothing happens. Too few pebbles and the sound is again compromised. Everything must be in balance."

"What more can you tell me of life?"

"Only what you have said yourself many a time: 'Life is a balance, which must be constantly adjusted.'"

I thank the rainstick.

The next two exercises are to help me deepen my understanding of my new myth.

Part 3 of My Fairy Tale
When Marcy reaches the top of the golden stair case, she ia surprised to find herself in front of the cave again. The troll is in the entrance, yelling at her to take care of it.

"No," she says, "for I see now that by doing everything for you, I have made you too weak to face the sun and without the sun, you will become sick and die."

"I don't need the sun," harrumphed the troll. "You are suppose to take care of me and make me happy."

"I cannot make you happy. Only you can make yourself happy. Only you can make yourself well again."

"But I will be all alone!"

"If you behave yourself, I will visit and make cookies with you. But I belong in the crystal palace with my kitten. I cannot live in the cave with you."

With that, Marcy went back to the crystal palace and went about putting it back in order. Dan blew out all the trash that had settled in it and the kitten helped Marcy to polish everything. The Marcy decided to decorate the palace with plants.

Several months later, the troll came to the crystal palace for a visit. It was amazed at how beautiful everything looked. Marcy invited the troll to dinner. Though dinner went relatively well, the troll was still inconsiderate and coarse. After dinner, the troll asked if it could live with Marcy in her palace.

"No," Marcy said. "This is my palace and although you are welcome to visit, you cannot live here with me. If you wish, I can give you some cuttings from some of my plants and you can grow them in your cave. Just make sure they get enough water and sunshine and your cave can be beautiful on its own."

The troll was not happy, but it left because it knew that Marcy would never take care of it again. Marcy, Dan, the kitten, the sunbeams, and the clouds lived happily and the troll found someone else to take care of it.

Completing My Personal Shield
A
Renewed
Vision
Triggering
Vision		 I had hard time getting a symbol to appear. At first, I thought it was because I didn't want to draw a green sponge on my shield, but the moment I placed the image between my hands, I knew it wasn't the correct symbol. I tried a sunflower holding a sword, but that didn't feel right either. Finally, I just fed more and more energy between my hands. I open my hands to see a glowing orb, it still wasn't right. I sent more energy and the orb rose and split into a pair of binary stars. I knew then that this was the correct symbol.
History My myth and counter-myth have joined forces to keep balance in my life.
The
Symbol
Speaks		 We are two forces joined in harmony with the same purpose. Together, we are stronger than we are apart. We are of equal size and spin around each other in a perfect perfect balance of influence and power. We shine with the light of joy.
My
Renewed
Vision
Carol		 Melody of "Good King Wenselaus"

Dancing together in harmony
The forces of Life revolve
Intricate and beautiful
Their power is within us all
Every piece essential to
The universal plan
Everyone a musician
In Life's celestial band

Betwixt counterpoint and melody
Evolves the master piece
Life is not a steady state
Its stresses need release
Growth occurs efficiently
When balance is achieved
Without it there would be no life
With it we find peace.


My Personal Shield

June 4, 1999
This exercise is to evaluate and refine my new myth according to both logical and intuitive soruces of knowledge.

Seeking Confirmation from the "Powers That Be"
I re-enter the ancient forest filled with liquid light and go back through the curtain of light. My inner wise person rejoices to see me visit her here. She leads me to a curtain of leaves and parts it to reveal a glowing white stairway, floating in space.

We climb the stairway past the stars and nebulas until we enter a region made of light. My inner wise person leads me to a door and we enter a room with God sitting at the other end. His smile is full of love and joy.

I give him my first version of the motto of my new myth: "Everything deserves respect, even me." Then I ask if this myth calls to the best and highest in me.

"No," He says. "I gave you that modification last night." I squirm in embarassment, because he had. He restates it to me: "Everything deserves respect and an opportunity to develop itself to its fullest potential, especially you."

I nod as I commit this to memory.

"You should try to accept my words the first time I give them to you," He continues, very softly and with great affection. "They are not figments. You do not need to have everything confirmed several times. I know that there are others who question your actions constantly, but you will notice that these people make a lot of poor choices. They question your actions because they don't understand the thought and consideration you do beforehand and your solutions surpirse them. Do not let them paralyze you. If they spent as much time questioning they own actions as they do yours, they would be much better off."

I feel a wave of grief as I listen to Him. What he says is true and it has hurt me greatly in the past to have to explain my actions to people who use their own foolishness as an excuse to treat me like a brainless idiot.

"Come here," He says.

I walk up to Him and He tells me to sit in His lap. I burst into tears as He puts His arms around me. "You are a good person," He tells me, "and I am proud of you. Now, ask me your other questions."

I take a deep breath. "Is my myth built on grandiosity?"

He laughs. "Most definitely not."

"Does my myth lack in ambition?"

"The first version did, but the revision I gave you does not."

"Is my myth limited by my fears?"

"No."

"Will my new myth cause difficulties I haven't yet anticipated?"

"None."

"Is it reasonable for me to implement this myth in my life at this time?'

"It is the best time for it."

"Should any adjustments be made before I begin to shift my life into the image of this new myth?"

"Keep your heart open and I will lead you through any changes you will need to make."

I give God a hug back and thank Him. He kisses the top of my head and sets me back on the ground. My inner wise person takes my hand and leads me back to her place.

"Why do I feel so sad?" I ask her.

"Because you feel that you have failed God by not listening better, but you haven't, you know. He is very proud of you. He just doesn't want you to waste your energy trying to make sure you are doing the right thing. Trust your instincts."

"What do you think of my new motto?"

"I think it is wonderful. With your sub-motto: 'Life is a balancing act', you will go far."

"Is there anything else you need to tell me?"

"I love you."

We hug and she disappears. Now that I have received my comfirmation, it is time for me to summerize my new myth.

My New Myth Statement
Everything deserves respect and an opportunity to develop itself to its fullest potential. This can be achieved most effectively when the forces of our lives are in balance. Imbalance causes stress and a system in stress must compensate for that stress. This is the way of nature, whether it occurs in an ecosystem or a test tube or someone's life. My body and mind are ecosystems in themselves and need to be kept in balance. This balance is not a steady state, but a fluid, living thing that requires adjustments from time to time.

June 8, 1999
My husband finally made it two days ago to the designated halfway point to pick up our children for summer visitation. My brother went me to make sure nothing else happened. We're not certain, but we think that my husband was planning to switch vehicles with me, using the fact that he brought a bunch of stuff to give me and it would be easier than tranferring it. He was not happy to see my brother, who let him do all the loading, while I bought the kids lunch at the nearby Dairy Queen. I told him that he didn't have the right to choose what I get or don't get. He insisted that he was being fair. He is so clueless.

To say that I am being a bit snappish at the moment is an understatement. At least, I have the Mythic Path stuff still to work on...

Now the challenge is to incorporate my new belief system into my life. The next few exercises are to help me replace old patterns with new. The book goes into quoting the workings of this and that specialist supporting the concept of "fields of information". While it is interesting, it's rather dry reading. Whether that is the reason for the next exercises being successful, or not, is insequential to me. I see it as working on the same principle of a physical anchor used by many people to control the symptoms of chronic anxiety and phobia, by using the memory of touch, as well as hearing and sight. Of course, these are also considered "fields of information".

Invoking My New Myth in My "Subtle Body"
I use this exercise to create a physical sensation to act as a reminder of my new myth.

As I contemplate my renewed vision symbol, I feel a tingling all over me. There is a sense of energy and peace. I imagine the binary stars rotating before me. I feel my body pull itself into a balanced posture and relax.

Self-Talk
As a man thinks, so he is.

Self-Statements that Support My Old Myth:

Self-Statement Physical
Sensation
I cannot complain about someone else unless
I have my own life under control.		clenched jaw
My own needs can wait.headache to right
side of head
* I must help others whenever possible.extreme tiredness


I will concentrate on tranforming the last statement.

  1. What evidence supports this statement?
    • It makes life more peaceful when everyone around me is happy.
    • It makes me feel good about myself when I can help.
    • It creates goodwill towards me.

  2. What evidence disputes this statement?
    • It can cause me a great deal of discomfort.
    • Sometimes I end up not being able to help someone who is in desperate need of my help, because I am already committed to helping someone else, who could actually do without my help, but likes to whine loudly.
    • Helping others indiscriminately can deplete my resources to the point where I need help myself.

  3. What would happen if I no longer lived this statement?
    • I would be able to take care of myself better.
    • I would feel less resentment and guilt.
    • Some people would be disappointed with me.


Self-Statements that Support My New Myth:

Self-Statement (+) Self-Statement (-)
I will reduce stress whenever possible. I will not take on more than I can handle.
* I will take care of my body. I will not neglect myself.
I will balance drive with direction. I will not put energy into fruitless endeavors.


I will be concentrating on the second statement in the first column. It also requires me to balance action with rest.

Behavoir Rehearsal
To practice using my new myth through visualization and daily ritual, much the same way an athlete perfects a technique.

Putting My New Myth to the Test in a Mental Rehearsal:
I have a friend who is dear to me, but can be very clingy at times. I understand what drives this, but sometimes I find myself attending to her emotional needs when I really neeed to have time to myself.

I imagine myself getting ready to do a task, when my friend calls to talk. I greet her normally and ask her if she has something she can do during the next hour. (Of course, if it's an extreme emergency, I will listen and give whatever support I can.) Then I tell her about my task. I suggest that we both work on our tasks at the same time and call each other in 60 minutes to compare notes on our activities and talk. This way we will be together in spirit and I will get what I need to done.

After I plot this scenario out, I practice it out physically like an actor rehearsing a part.

This following ritual is to help me break the hold of my old way of thinking and replace it with my healthier beliefs.

Daily Personal Ritual:
Every morning and evening, I will mentally repeat my new myth self-statements will I brush my teeth, gargle, and apply a flouride treatment. When I feel despair, I will wear something that sparkles to remind me of my renewed vision symbol. I also have my self-statements posted in my bathroom.

From the inner thought proceeds the outward action.

Public Ritual:
I have created a section on this site called "Women of Renewal" as part of my public ritual. Here I try to represent the concept of balance and attention to one's own body. (I later showed this section to one of my sisters, while we shared a desert I made for the occasion as the actual "ritual".)

Time to acknowledge the environment around me and change it to reinforce my new life.

Conditions Reinforcing My New Myth


Conditions that Reinforce My Old Myth


Sequel to My Fairy Tale
A chance to visualize how these changes I am making now will affect my life five years from now, in a metaphoric way.

Marcy walks through her crystal palace surrounded by lush plants. The kitten is now the size of a lion. He is strong and kind. Marcy sings with Dan, the wind, as she cares for her little kingdom. The sunbeams and clouds visit her frequently.

One day, Dan asks Marcy to go on a picnic with him. Marcy follows Dan to a small lake with a waterfall.

"This is beautiful," Marcy says.

"Thank you," Dan says. "I worked a long time to create it."

"You made this? Dan, you are amazing! I'm surprised you had any time to spend inspiring me."

"Inspiration works boths ways," he says.

Marcy smiles. "Well, I hope I have been as inspiring to you as you have been to me."

"More than you realize."

Marcy sets out everything for the picnic, sits down, and sighs.

"I wish you could join me, Dan. I feel rude eating in front of you, even if you are only moving air."

Dan blows Marcy's hair. "Come to the lake," he says.

"I need your help, Marcy," he continues. "I have created this lake so I can take human form and walk among mankind."

"Dan," answers Marcy, "you have helped me when I needed it. I would be honored to help you with this."

"Then, please scoop up some lake mud and place it on the flat rock near the waterfall, so I can shape it."

Marcy gives the potato salad to a friendly bear and uses the bowl to scoop out the mud. The bear decides to help Marcy and soon they have a man-sized pile of mud on the rock. Dan blows the mud into shape. When the mud becomes too dry to work with, Marcy and the bear splash water from the waterfall on it.

When Dan has the mud into the shape he wants, he calls to the sunbeams. "I am about to enter this form," he says. "When I do, I want you to bake this mud for me."

Dan enters the mud-form and the sunbeams help him to transform it into flesh. While they are busy, Marcy retrieves the picnic blanket and gives it to some other sunbeams, who make it into some clothes for Dan. When they are done, Dan, the human, steps off the rock and walks over to Marcy.

"What do you think?" he asks her.

"You look wonderful!"

Dan blushes. He and Marcy have a wonderful afternoon. As the sun begins to set, Dan becomes concerned.

"I am human and now I have no protection from the elements. May I live with you until I can create a home of my own?"

"Dan," Marcy says, "you have lived in the crystal palace as long as I have. It is your home too, and I would be lonely without you."

So, Dan and Marcy go back to the crystal palace and live happily in an atmosphere conducive to love and growth.

When I first finished this sequel, I was afraid I might had missed the purpose of the intended exercise, but rereading it I realize that this is a very important goal for me--to find a companion who has worked on his emotional and spiritual well-being as I have. And the more I think about it, the more appropriate this goal becomes. But it will take time--lot of it.

June 10, 1999
I've made a mini-contract with myself to help me with my new myth:

June 16, 1999
I shared my public ritual with my sister. She didn't say much about my "Women of Renewal", at least not about it main concepts. I think she was shocked to find out that I could draw so well on a computer.

I have added a few more thing to my contract with myself. I will organize my apartment to make it easier to live my new beliefs and I will read one fiction book a week. I have been having some serious problems sleeping lately and in spite of the fact it seems a frivolous thing to do when I have so much else to do, it is the only thing that actually gets me to relax.

Outside of my continued reviewing of my contracts with myself, I am pretty much done with the Mythic Path, which is just as well I have hit my saturation point with introspection at the moment and now is the time for action.

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